


Noah's Family Tree

by theoofoof



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family, Fluff, Homework, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-06-30 09:11:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15748656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoofoof/pseuds/theoofoof
Summary: Noah requests Rafael's help with his first ever homework assignment. Will working on a kindergarten project bring Olivia and Rafael closer together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an expansion of something referred to in my previous fic 'All Ways', but I fear it's developing a life of its own... I'm envisioning three chapters at the moment, but we shall see!

Noah jumped up from the couch at the sound of keys in the front door and raced across the apartment. “Hi, Momma!” he called as she entered.

Olivia dropped her bag and jacket and bent down to pick up her son. “Hi, sweet boy.” She hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to the side of his head, before lowering him to the floor. “Did you have a good day at school?”

Noah nodded and began talking a mile a minute about his day as he returned to the sofa. “Yeah. We made models of dinosaurs and played Legos and drew pictures. And it was tuna sandwiches for lunch – they’re my favourite - and I played with Zak and Kody. Oh, and I have homework. Can we start it tonight?”

“Homework?” she asked, somewhat amused by her son’s excitement. She couldn’t see that lasting into first-grade.

“Yeah, we have to make a family tree. So, can we?”

Olivia’s amusement faded at Noah’s words. Given how Noah had come into her life, this homework assignment had the potential to open a can of worms. “Probably not tonight, sweet boy. But we can look at it tomorrow.” That would give her some time to think about how to address the concept of ‘family’ with her son.

Noticing her boss’s apprehension, Lucy approached the little boy and, leaning over the back of the sofa, lay her hands on Noah’s shoulders. “Hey buddy,” she said, “dinner’s nearly ready. Go wash up, please.”

Noah shuffled off the sofa and jogged down the hallway. Once he was out of earshot, Lucy retrieved a slip of paper from Noah’s school bag and handed it to Olivia. “Mrs Smiley sent you this note.”

Lucy moved to collect her jacket from the coat stand by the door, allowing Olivia to read the message from Noah’s teacher.

_Ms Benson_

_I understand this week’s homework assignment may prove difficult,_  
_given Noah’s early history. Please feel free to adapt the assignment to_  
_include those who Noah feels are his ‘family’._

_Mrs Smiley_

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that she’d taken the time to smooth things over with the school after the misunderstanding about Noah’s bruise and explain a bit more about Noah’s background. Maybe she would be able to avoid any difficult questions by focussing her son’s attention on his honorary aunts and uncles.

“He has recommended reading too,” the young woman added, “but we’ve started that. I’ve noted down in his reading record where he’s up to.”

She turned back to her son’s nanny who was getting ready to leave. “Thank you, Lucy.” 

“No problem. I warn you though, he has big plans for this homework assignment. The words ‘glitter glue’ and ‘paint’ were mentioned several times.”

Olivia groaned. “Good job I’m off this weekend then.”

* * *

The following morning found Olivia and Noah sorting through a box of old photos. A large tree shape had been cut out and painted and currently sat on the kitchen counter, drying. Noah sat at the coffee table in the living room looking through the photos while Olivia gathered them a quick snack from the kitchen. Putting several cookies on a plate and pouring Noah a glass of milk, she listened as her son reminisced, giggling and chatting away to Eddie the Elephant explaining when and where some of the photos had been taken.

“Have you chosen your photos, sweet boy?” Olivia asked, rounding the kitchen counter with the plate of cookies and Noah’s drink.”

“Nearly,” he told her, indicating a small pile that lay separate to the others, “but I can’t find one of me with Uncle Rafa.”

Olivia placed the plates on the coffee table and looked through the prints that Noah had selected. There was a copy of a professional portrait of the two of them that had been taken over the summer. A silly selfie of him and Lucy. He and Fin at Jayden’s first birthday party. Riding on the carousel with Amanda and Jesse. A snap of him and Carisi at the last NYPD Annual Easter Egg Hunt.

Olivia rifled through the remaining photos in the box, searching for a photo of Noah with Rafael. She was sure there were some. “Here we go,” she said, finding one of the two of them playing in the sandbox at the park. She handed it to Noah.

“No,” he said, his mouth full of cookie. “I’m a baby on that one.”

“We don’t talk with our mouths full,” Olivia reminded, shaking her head. She looked back at the photo. It was over a year old, but he was hardly a baby. She voiced this to her son, but he wouldn’t be persuaded. She looked through the box again but to no avail; there were some from his adoption party as well, but the photo from the sandbox was the most recent shot of Noah with Rafael.

“Sorry, sweet boy, but that’s the best we’ve got.” She put it on the pile, but Noah took it straight off again.

“No. We need a better one. One where I’m older.”

“But Noah, honey, we don’t have any more.” She picked up a cookie and, breaking it in half, took a bite.

Noah pouted for a few moments, drinking his milk in silence, before being struck with an idea. He climbed up on the sofa and crawled over to the end table, where Olivia’s cell phone lay. He picked it up and handed it to his mom, who raised an eyebrow at his actions.

“We can call Uncle Rafa and ask him to come over and take some,” Noah explained. “Then we can go and print them at the store.”

“It’s Saturday,” Olivia warned. “Uncle Rafa might be busy.”

“We don’t know until we call him,” reasoned Noah, causing Olivia to wonder if maybe he was spending too much time with the ADA. In contrast to what the lack of recent photos suggested, Rafael had actually become rather a regular visitor over the summer.

After a couple of nights case prep at her place – not long after all hell had broken loose following the Samra case – Noah had extended an invitation to spaghetti night the following day and Rafael had hesitantly agreed. Olivia hadn’t been sure he would show up, but he arrived at her office just as she was leaving and suggested they share a cab as they were both going to the same place. And the surprises just kept on coming. As soon as they arrived home, Noah co-opted Rafael into his game and before long, the normally well-put-together ADA was down to his shirtsleeves; jacket, vest and tie discarded and suspenders falling at his waist.

After that, he became a regular feature at spaghetti night. He continued to join them at the park and began occasionally attended other outings; he’d been with them to the zoo and the museum within the past few weeks. He and Noah became fast friends, the little boy telling Olivia he was his ‘favourite uncle’ on several occasions.

But Rafael had always insisted on taking photos of Noah with his mom, so there were none of Rafael with him.

Unlocking her cell phone, Olivia opened her recent calls list and tapped Rafael’s name – third one down, only Lucy and Amanda before him. She lifted the phone to her ear and listened as it rang out. After a minute, Olivia was about to hang up, thinking Rafael was busy when he finally picked up.

“Hi Liv,” he greeted, breathlessly.

“Hi. Not been running again, have you?” she teased. After resorting to jogging during the Patton case several years ago to catch up with Amanda when she wouldn’t return his calls, it had become something of a joke between them.

“No, I haven’t,” he replied sarcastically, and Olivia could almost hear his eye-roll down the phone line. “I was just getting out of the shower when I heard my phone.”

A vision of Rafael stood in his bedroom, in nothing more than a towel popped into Olivia’s head and she was momentarily distracted by the thought of droplets of water dripping from his still wet hair and gliding down his chest and arms. She was no fool; Rafael was an attractive man and the glimpses she’d got of his physique on their summer outings – t-shirts with short sleeves, tight across his chest – had only served to intrigue her as to what lay underneath.

“Liv? Liv? Are you there?”

Rafael’s voice broke into her daydream and she felt herself blush. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here. Sorry. Just a little distracted.”

“Eddie stealing the ice-cream again?”

She snorted. “Ha, no. Not this time.”

“So, what can I do for you?” he asked. “It’s not work, is it? I thought you were off this weekend.” He could have sworn that’s what she said, and, in his opinion, it was long overdue. She’d been working ridiculously long hours over the past few weeks.

The hint of concern in his voice drew a smile from Olivia.

“I am,” she assured him. “Noah and I are just working on his homework.”

“Homework? He’s only in kindergarten!” Rafael objected.

“It’s not like they’re asking him to write an essay, Rafa,” Liv said rolling her eyes. “It’s actually quite a nice, creative activity. He has to make a family tree. Which brings me to the reason for my call.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Noah would like to put you on it but needs an up-to-date photo. So-”

“He wants to put me on his family tree?” Rafael asked somewhat sceptically.

“Well, you are ‘Uncle Rafa’,” Olivia explained. “He’s got Fin, Amanda and Carisi on there too,” she added, not wanting Rafael to feel uncomfortable.

“And Lucy!” Noah added, glancing up from the photos he was looking through.

“And Lucy,” Olivia repeated.

“I… I don’t quite know what to say…”

Olivia stood and moved further back into the apartment, away from Noah’s ears, and lowered her voice. “If you would rather he didn’t include you, I can talk to him,” she offered.

“No, no,” Rafael said quickly. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just a bit surprised, but it’s fine. More than fine. I’m not sure about the photos though – I’ll have a look, but I can’t promise I’ve got anything. I tend to shy away from the camera.”

“You do? I hadn’t noticed,” she replied sarcastically. “The thing is…” She leant against the wall in the kitchen archway. “All the other photos he’s chosen are of him with the person on his tree. So, he was wondering if you were free to maybe come over and take one with him? I know it’s Saturday and if you have plans then-”

“I don’t. Have plans, that is.” The line went quiet for a moment, before he continued, “How about I meet you two at the park – natural light is better for photos, right?”

“If you say so. Carisi is the photographer in the squad.” Sensing an opportunity to tease Rafael, she added. “Maybe I should call him, and he can take some for us.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Rafael replied.

Olivia laughed at his reaction. “Okay. So, we’ll see you at the usual place?”

“Give me an hour? Maybe we could grab some lunch too? There’s that little café that Noah likes.”

Olivia looked at her watch, trying to tamper down the feelings that had been stirred by him knowing Noah’s favourite eatery in the park. “Yeah, that sounds good. We’ll see you then.”

* * *

When Olivia and Noah arrived at the park, Rafael was waiting for them by the entrance to Pine Bank Bridge, as promised. When Noah spotted him, he wrenched his hand free from his mother’s grip and raced towards his honorary uncle.

“Uncle Rafa!”

“Oof!” Noah crashed into him, causing him to step back to steady himself. When he regained his balance, he ruffled the little boy’s hair and lifted him up. “Hey, _mi amigo_!” Noah’s arms went around Rafael’s neck and he held on as Rafael settled him on his hip. “You shouldn’t run off like that, y’know,” Rafael chastised gently.

Noah craned his neck, looking back to see his mom approaching, a frown on her face.

“Noah! How many times have I told you not to-”

“Sorry, Momma,” he said, holding out his arms to her.

Olivia took her son back and gave him a quick hug, before setting him on the floor. As much as she hated it, he was getting a bit too big to be carried for any length of time. Keeping a tighter hold of Noah’s hand, she turned to face her best friend.

“Hi,” she greeted with a smile, running a hand through her hair.

“Hey.”

He was wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt – a light jacket slung over his shoulder – and, as Olivia looked at his muscular forearms, she was reminded of her earlier vision of him just out of the shower. She shook herself out of those thoughts as quickly as they appeared.

“Thanks for giving up your Saturday afternoon to do this. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

“It’s no problem. You actually saved me from an afternoon of shredding. I… I might have let it pile up recently,” he shrugged. “It’s my only vice.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Your _only_ vice?”

“Well, I suppose there’s the coffee and the scotch,” he admitted.

“And the snacking,” she added with a smile.

“That’s your son’s fault.”

“Hey!” protested Noah.

Olivia laughed. “Ignore him, Noah, He was a serial snacker way before you came along.”

“Maybe. But having you around, _mi amigo_ ,” he ruffled Noah’s hair, “increases both the proximity and availability of snacks. Speaking of which…” Rafael looked at his watch and then back to Noah. “Playground or food first.”

Noah looked thoughtful for a moment, considering his options. But his answer, when it came, was no surprise to either of the adults. “Food!” He took both their hands, as they shared a look and a laugh, and led them in the direction of his favourite café.


	2. Chapter 2

With their stomachs filled, the three of them headed to the playground, Noah walking between the two adults, holding both their hands.

“Swing me!” the five-year-old called, as he pulled on their arms and lifted his feet from the path.

Rafael groaned, rubbing his bicep in mock pain. “A bit of warning would be nice next time.”

Noah lowered his feet to the ground and continued walking. “Sorry,” he murmured, looking at the floor.

“It’s okay, _mi amigo_ ,” Rafael said, realising the boy had misunderstood his prank. “I was only joking. You want to go again?”

Noah looked up at him, smiling. “Yeah!” he nodded eagerly.

“Okay.” Rafael met Olivia’s eyes over Noah’s head. “Ready?” She nodded, holding tightly to her purse on her other shoulder. Rafael began the countdown. “3… 2… 1… swing!” The adults lifted Noah and he swung his legs back and forth excitedly.

“Wheeeeeeee!”

Rafael lifted him higher, causing the little boy to giggle and Olivia to once again wonder at what her best friend may be hiding under the expensive suits he wore. To lift Noah – who was quite tall for his age – with one arm, he must be quite strong.

They swung Noah a few more times before they arrived at the playground, where the little boy spotted Jackson who, like him, was a weekend regular. He looked up at his mom. “Can I go and play with Jackson?”

Olivia nodded. “But stay within the fence, okay?”

“I will,” he called back as he ran to play with his friend.

Olivia leaned forward on the railings, watching her son jump into the sandbox and seamlessly integrate into whatever game Jackson had started.

Rafael joined her, his gaze also fixed on the young boy who had weaselled his way into his heart. “So, how’s he liking school?”

They hadn’t had much time to catch up recently. It had been a crazy few weeks; both of them working through some tough cases and Olivia dealing with a needless ACS investigation thanks to Noah’s new but overcautious teacher. It still wasn’t over, but he was confident that she would be cleared.

“Well, he doesn’t hate me for making him go anymore, so I guess that’s progress.”

Rafael tilted his head. “He never hated you.”

Olivia gave a slight smile at the gentle sincerity of his words. “He’s settled in well. He likes Mrs Smiley and he’s made a few friends. You should have seen his face when he was telling me about his homework. He was so eager!”

“That won’t last,” Rafael remarked, remembering his own attitude to homework in elementary school. It had picked up again in high school – his determination to get out of _el barrio_ and make something of himself had seen to that – but he still remembered the seemingly endless battles with his mother over homework.

“Probably not,” she agreed, having had similar thoughts last night, “but I’ll take it for now. Even if my kitchen does look like a paint bomb has exploded!”

Rafael chuckled. “It’s turned into quite the project then?”

“Oh, that’s the understatement of the year,” Olivia replied, and then proceeded to tell him about the cardboard tree that was sat drying in her kitchen, and how, after they’d finished painting it, she’d had to give Noah a mid-morning bath to get the green and brown flecks out of his hair.

“Careful,” Rafael warned, with a smile. “You’ll set a precedent for future homework assignments.”

“Oh, don’t,” Olivia groaned and looked skyward. Grey clouds creeping in and the sky was growing dark. “Looks like rain,” she remarked.

“Better get those photos taken quickly then,” Rafael said, pushing off the railing and heading to the gate. Olivia followed him, calling out to Noah.

The little boy ran over, deciding where they should take their first photo. He chose the swings, so they posed there; Noah sitting on the seat and Rafael standing behind him holding onto the chains. Noah then requested to be pushed for a little while, so Olivia snapped a few more pictures and snuck a quick video too. Once Noah was done swinging, they moved back to the sandbox, where Rafael surprised Olivia by removing his shoes and socks – colourful stripy ones, of course – and stepping right in. Noah directed him where to sit and what to do, and Rafael complied dutifully. Within ten minutes, their sandcastle was complete, and Olivia took a photo of them with it.

Once their creation had been demolished – a task Noah enjoyed immensely – he and Rafael went down the slide together with Olivia snapping pictures of them at both the top and the bottom. The next shot was Rafael spotting Noah on the monkey bars, followed by one on the seesaw; the two boys on one end and Olivia on the other. Noah giggled as Olivia playfully chastised Rafael for bouncing too hard.  

They then left the playground and Noah begged for a turn on the carousel – which provided the opportunity for more photos – before stopping for a few more snaps by the bridge; one stood side by side, another with Rafael behind Noah with his hands on the boy’s shoulders, and one with Noah on Rafael’s back.

“Let’s take a selfie,” Noah suggested from his perch on Rafael’s back, beckoning Olivia over with his hand.

Rafael moved Noah to sit on the wall of the bridge, keeping a tight hold of him. He noticed the worry in Olivia’s eyes and stroked her upper arm as she reached them. “Relax, I’ve got him.”

Olivia held up her phone and frowned as she looked at the screen. “We’ll need to squeeze in,” she instructed.

Rafael pulled Noah tightly to his side and then slid an arm around Olivia’s waist, manoeuvring her so she was stood slightly in front of him. She raised a perfectly arched brow at him, but he just shrugged. “You said we needed to squash up.”

She had said that, but she hadn’t expected Rafael to be so literal about it. His hand felt warm through the thin wool of her jumper and part of her willed his fingers to slide underneath and trace her skin. But the other, more rational part of her brain put the brakes on and tried to analyse Rafael’s actions. They weren’t usually so overtly physically affectionate. Yes, there were touches to each other’s shoulders or back, but it was all very restrained, conservative. She could probably count on one hand the number of times they’d strayed from that before today. So, what had changed, she wondered. Was it just the casual setting? If so, then why hadn’t he been like that on their previous outings?

“Come on, Momma!” Noah groaned, pulling Olivia from her thoughts. “Take the selfie already.”

“Yes, right. Sorry.”

Rafael allowed himself a small smile at Olivia’s flustered response to his actions. Over the past few weeks, it had become harder and harder to resist the temptation to touch her. After he’d almost given himself cramp by holding his arm so stiffly on their last outing he’d decided enough was enough. It was time to stop ignoring those impulses and test the water, so to speak. He knew what he felt for her was more than friendship, but he wouldn’t risk their current relationship – professional or personal – if she didn’t feel the same. He was starting wonder if she did; they were certainly spending more time together and she seemed different – more open – with him.

Olivia’s finger hovered over the shutter button. “Everyone ready?” They all turned toward the phone and smiled. “Say cheese!”

Several selfies later and the sky was getting considerably greyer. The breeze was picking up too; it wouldn’t be long before the rain began.

“Think you’ve got enough photos, _mi amigo_?” Rafael asked, helping Noah down from the side of the bridge.

The little boy nodded. “Yeah. Can we get them printed on the way home, Momma?” he asked. “So I can stick them on my tree tonight?”

“Of course we can, sweet boy,” she replied, taking Noah’s hand. “We can stop at CVS.” It was on their route back to the apartment.

“Let me know which photo you choose for the tree. Maybe you can even send me a photo of the finished product,” Rafael commented as they walked toward the park gates. He wanted to ask Olivia to send him some of the photos too, but he didn’t want to appear too eager. He’d wait a couple of days and casually drop the request into conversation.

Noah looked up at him. “Aren’t you coming back with us to see it, Uncle Rafa?” he asked, a tinge of disappointment in his tone. “You could stay for dinner,” he glanced back to Olivia, “couldn’t he Momma?”

“Noah, sweetie, Uncle Rafa might have plans.”

“Do you have plans, Uncle Rafa?” Noah asked directly.

“I do not,” he confirmed, wondering where Olivia had gotten the idea that he was some sort of social butterfly. “I suppose I could come over for a little while.” He looked from Noah to Olivia. “If that’s okay with you?”

Olivia gave a small smile and nodded. “You’re always welcome, you know that. But what about your shredding?” she teased.

He shrugged. “It’ll still be there tomorrow. So,” he looked down at Noah, “what passes for dinner in the Benson household on a Saturday night?”

* * *

Dinner, it turned out, was take-out pizza – a weekend treat, Olivia told him – followed by ice-cream with lashings of strawberry sauce. Rafael made Noah laugh during dessert by watching Eddie suspiciously out of the corner of his eye and keeping a protective hold on his bowl. Once their dishes were empty, Rafael helped Olivia clear the table and load the dishwasher while Noah looked through the photos of him and Rafael, trying to decide which to use for his homework assignment.

“They’re all so good, Momma! I just can’t choose,” he declared when the adults finally joined him in the living room and asked which photo he’d selected.

“Have you narrowed it down?” Rafael asked, kneeling down next to him as Olivia sat on the sofa.

“What’s ‘narrowed it down’? Noah asked curiously, tilting his head.

Rafael smiled. “It means have you chosen a few that you’d like?”

Noah nodded. “Yeah, I have a ‘maybe’ pile.” He picked up a stack of six prints and handed them to Rafael who thumbed through them.

“All good choices, _mi amigo_ ,” Rafael agreed. “Where are the photos of everyone else you’re putting on there? Maybe we could see which one fits best with them?”

Noah jumped up from the floor and retrieved the box of photos from the shelf. He took the lid off and picked up the photos he’d picked out that morning, laying them out on the table.

“Hang on, let's get the tree,” Olivia said, standing. “Then you can arrange them out how you want them.”

Once the tree was laid out on the table, Noah set about putting the photos in different places. His head tilted, and his tongue poked out through his lips in concentration as he tried out different arrangements. Two photos were static though; one of him, at the top of the tree-trunk, and one of his mom, just above on the branches. He finally decided to put the rest of the adults’ photos around the edge of the branches.

“Maybe I can paint something in the middle,” he said, thinking aloud.

“Maybe,” Olivia agreed. “So, now you’ve put those on, which photo of you and Uncle Rafa do you think goes best?”

Noah regarded looked back and forth between the tree and the selection of photos they’d had printed that afternoon. “I think… maybe… this one,” Noah eventually decided, pointing to the photo of Rafael carrying him on his back.

“I like that one,” Olivia said, looking at it fondly. Noah was laughing at something Rafael had said. Despite it only being a couple of hours earlier, she couldn’t remember what it was, but that didn’t matter. The happy, smiling face of her son did. Rafael was smiling too, in a slightly silly way. She loved that Noah brought out the goofy side of the usually straight-laced ADA. He made Noah laugh harder and more often than anyone else her son came into contact with. “Where’s it going to go?” she asked, indicating the tree.

Noah thought for a moment, before nudging the picture of him and his mom slightly to the right, placing Rafael’s next to it. This meant Noah’s own photo was directly underneath both of them. The adults shared a look, the positioning not lost on either of them. To someone who didn’t know Noah, it might appear as if Rafael was his father.

“I don’t know,” Olivia said, tilting her head. “What about…” She reached out to rearrange one of the photos, but Noah put his hands over them and shook his head.

“No. I want them there.”

“Noah, sweetie…” she began, unsure of how she was going to explain why he couldn’t position the photos like that. If she told him that’s where a father’s photo should go, the chances were he’d ask about his own father and she wasn’t sure how to even begin answering that question.

Sensing her uncertainty, Rafael placed a hand on her arm. “I kinda like them like that,” he said, glancing up at her. He saw her eyes widen and quickly averted his gaze.

Noah beamed and threw a triumphant look at his mom. “See!”

Rafael could feel Olivia’s questioning gaze boring into the side of his head. He hadn’t intended to be so forward, he was just trying to help. He didn’t want to have this conversation, or any like it tonight, but, as he looked back at the arrangements of the photos, seeing himself in the place of Noah’s father – even if it was completely unintentional –stirred something in him. He wasn’t quite sure how he was going to explain that to Olivia, but he knew he couldn’t do it in front of Noah.

“I think we need to add everyone’s names, _mi amigo,”_ he suggested. “Why don’t you go and get ready for bed and then we can glue it all down and I’ll help you spell them.”

Noah was off to his room like a shot and once he’d gone, Olivia began with the inquisition.

“Rafa, what the-?”


	3. Chapter 3

Rafael sighed and heaved himself up from the floor, settling on the sofa instead. He decided to begin with an apology; the last thing he wanted was for Olivia to feel uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, Liv. I know I probably just overstepped.”

She raised an eyebrow as if to say, ‘You think?’

“Noah seems pretty insistent that that’s where he wants the photos. Why cause an argument?” he shrugged, hoping Olivia would accept his reasoning.  

“Because of the way it appears,” she countered, waving her arm in the direction of the photos.

Or maybe she wouldn’t. “And how does it appear?” he pressed, buying time to gather his thoughts.

Her lips pursed. “Don’t play dumb, Rafa. You know exactly what it looks like. The way those photos are positioned it looks like you’re his father.”

“Would that be so bad?” he asked softly before inwardly cursed at himself for speaking without thought. His mother always said his mouth would get him into trouble. This conversation was taking on a life of its own, and it was moving faster and further than he wanted. He needed to dial it back before he did irreversible damage to their friendship. Drawing in a breath, Rafael continued, “What I mean is, as one of the male role models in his life, is it such a leap that he might think of me as a kind of father figure? He’s a bright kid, after all. At the very least, leaving the photos like that avoids any awkward conversations about his real father.”

Olivia was prevented from responding by Noah’s return, and was actually rather glad of her son’s timely reappearance – it would give her time to think about Rafael’s words. Despite his backtracking, she was pretty sure he’d been a hair’s breadth from declaring feelings that they had both being tip-toeing around since she split up with Tucker. And she wasn’t quite sure how to react to that.

She couldn’t say she’d never thought about it – she had on several occasions – but she’d pushed those thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind, suppressing them for the sake of their friendship and professional relationship. Seeing Rafael’s photo in the position of Noah’s father, however, had brought them back the forefront of her mind and awoken that deep yearning inside her to pursue something beyond friendship with him. But there was a lot to consider before they made that leap.

 “I’m ready, Uncle Rafa,” Noah said, tugging on Rafael’s sleeve.

He was ready for bed – wearing his favourite dinosaur pyjamas – and carrying his best marker pens. Dropping the pens on the coffee table, he headed straight for the craft box on the shelf and pulled out some glue. Rafael joined him back on the floor, and the two of them began working together to put the finishing touches to his homework.

Olivia regarded them intently, replaying Rafael’s words over in her mind. Disregarding his almost declaration, she conceded that he was right; he probably was the biggest male role model in Noah’s life. Out of him, Sonny and Fin, Rafael was the one he spent the most time with. Her best friend was also right when he said allowing Noah to place the pictures where he wanted them allowed her to sidestep the type of awkward questions she was worried this assignment would bring up.

She watched as Rafael helped Noah glue the photos of his ‘family’ down on the cardboard tree and spelt out everyone’s name for him, modelling how to write any letters the five-year-was unsure how to form correctly. Olivia’s heart swelled to see how patient and calm Rafael was with her son. She’d watched them interact before, but this felt different. Helping with homework was different… it was more domestic. It was something she could see the two of them doing for the next thirteen years if she allowed herself to make that leap.

While she might be ready to admit to herself that she wanted more than friendship from Rafael, she wasn’t sure she was ready to share that with Rafael, let alone Noah’s teacher and classmates. But her son could be stubborn, so Olivia stared at the tree, trying to figure out a way to prevent that from happening before the final photos were stuck down and there was nothing she could do about it.

“You know, Noah,” Olivia began. “What if we put your photo right in the middle of the tree, so you are surrounded by your family?” she suggested, moving her son’s photo to show him what she meant.

Noah put down his pen, tilted his head and looked at his mother’s idea. “I don’t know. Maybe…” he replied, stifling a yawn.

“Well, why don’t you sleep on it? Rafael suggested, capping the marker pen Noah had discarded and hoping that his support of Olivia’s compromise might get him back in her good graces. “And you can decide in the morning.”

“But I want to finish it now,” he protested.

“Noah, sweet boy, you’re practically falling asleep in the glue,” Olivia said. “It’s bedtime. We’ll finish your homework tomorrow like Uncle Rafa suggested. Now, say goodnight.”

Noah turned to Rafa and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. “Goodnight, Uncle Rafa.”

“Goodnight, _mi amigo_ ,” Rafael whispered, pressing a kiss to Noah’s curls. “ _Dulces sueños_.”

Noah reluctantly pulled away and took his mom’s proffered hand, allowing her to lead him down the hall to bed.

Hearing Noah’s door close, Rafael let his head fall back against the sofa cushions and closed his eyes. Olivia had been unusually quiet since Noah returned to the living room and he was beginning to think that he’d blown it completely. Sighing, he stood and began tidying Noah’s art supplies. Once the glue and scissors were back in their place and the pens away in their case, he gathered up the photos and dropped them into the box with the others. The top one bounced out, back onto the table. Rafael picked it up and stared at it. It was one of the selfies they’d taken on the bridge. As he looked at it, he realised if anyone had been walking past at that moment, they’d most probably have assumed the three of them were a family. That was certainly what they looked like to him. They were all smiling, and he had his arm around both Olivia and Noah, the little boy resting his head against Rafael’s. It was the perfect memento of the day, reflecting the fun and closeness they’d experienced. And now there was a very good chance he’d screwed it all up.

Rafael slipped the photo into his pocket – a reminder of what they’d had before he’d opened his big mouth– and grabbed his jacket from the stand by the door. He was just putting his shoes on when he heard the soft click of Noah’s door closing once again, and the gentle footfalls of Olivia approaching.

“You’re leaving?” Olivia asked, leaning against the kitchen wall, watching him.

“I thought it best,” he admitted, straightening up, “before I put my foot in it again.”

“You put your foot in it?” she smirked, trying to lighten the atmosphere. “I didn’t notice.” When Rafael didn’t smile, she changed tack, approaching him. “I’m sorry. You don’t need to go.”

“Liv, you’ve barely said two words to me since Noah got ready for bed. I don’t see there’s much point.” His shoulder’s slumped as he moved to leave. “I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

As his hand connected with the door handle, Olivia reached for him, grabbing his arm. “Rafa! Stay. Please.”

“Why?”

“So we can talk.” She let her hand glide tentatively down his arm, taking his hand in hers and pulling him deeper into the apartment. She led him to the stools at the kitchen counter and motioned for him to sit, while she rounded it. After pouring them both a generous measure - her, a glass of Cabernet, him, a tumbler of scotch – she re-joined him back on the other side, leaning against the wall, so as to try and keep an objective distance. She didn’t know if she could trust herself to be too close to him; he looked like a dejected puppy and she wanted nothing more than to take him in her arms and comfort him.

Rafael picked up his glass and lifted it to his lips, taking a large gulp. She wanted to talk. This was it. The end of their friendship. He should have bolted when she left the room, rather than tidying up. Then he’d at least have had a couple of days grace before his life fell apart.

“You don’t need to look so worried,” she told him. If her mind weren’t so pre-occupied with other things, she would most likely have found his unease amusing. She decided to ignore his near-confession for now, to give her more time to consider the consequences. She hoped that by not treating him any differently than usual, he would realise she wasn’t annoyed by what he implied, just not quite ready to address it yet. “I appreciate you trying to help me avoid any awkward questions from Noah.” She took a sip of her wine. “And I’m sorry if I seemed annoyed by your efforts to help.”

Rafael gave her a soft smile, “It’s okay, Liv. You don’t have to apologise.”

“I know the day is coming when Noah’s going to come home and ask about his father,” Olivia explained, staring down at the dark red liquid in her glass, “and I’m dreading it.” Her son was growing up and that involved meeting new people and becoming more interested in the lives of those outside their small circle. It was inevitable that he was going to hear children talk about their fathers and he was bound to have questions. She raised her head and looked over at him. “What the hell am I going to say to him, Rafa?”

“I think you’re asking the wrong person – I’m hardly an expert on raising kids. But you’ll find the words,” he assured.

She let her head fall back to the wall. “It’s all so dark and depraved.”

“And you want to protect him from that for as long as possible… as any mother would. So, I don’t know, maybe you start off slow. He doesn’t need to know the ins and outs at five years old. Just explain that his father died.”

“And if he asks about him? God, Rafa, I can’t…” The thought of sitting there, satisfying her son’s curiosity about Johnny D made her shiver and brought tears to her eyes. She couldn’t, in good conscience, lie to Noah about what his father was like, but she couldn’t tell him the truth either. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to, but certainly not at such a young age.

Rafael stood and, putting his drink on the kitchen counter, stepped closer to Olivia. His heart ached to see her so conflicted.

He reached out and lay his hands on her shoulders. He wouldn’t hug her; he wasn’t sure either of them could deal with that now, given his near admission earlier. But he bent his head to catch her eye. “Hey, hey, listen to me. When Noah asks those difficult questions, I know you’ll make the right choices about what to tell him.” He swallowed, his own emotions fighting to get the better of him. “And I know that because I can see – hell, anyone can see – how much you love and care for him. I know you’ll act in his best interests because that’s all you’ve done since you took him in.”

Olivia scoffed lightly. “It doesn’t always feel that way,” she admitted. “Especially now he’s getting older.” Lately, I find myself second guessing every decision I make. Should I have let him have that extra scoop of ice-cream? Will I have caused him unnecessary stress by staying late at the precinct and missing bedtime, again? Should I have explained to Noah from the start that I wasn’t really his mom?”

“Hey, don’t do that,” he admonished softly, sliding his hands down her arms to gently encircle her wrists and catching her eye again. “You _are_ his mom,” he whispered. “In every way that counts.”

He supposed every parent experienced worry and concern about raising their child, but he was beginning to realise that adoptive parents had a whole other layer of anxiety to deal with. And then he almost went and added to her problems by confessing his feelings for her. Although, she was being very kind in ignoring that little slip. Still, another decision to second guess wasn’t what she needed right now.

“And as for earlier… me ‘putting my foot in it’,” he said gently, “I don’t want you to worry about that, okay?”

Olivia scraped her teeth over her bottom lip. “Rafa... I-”

He shook his head. “No. You concentrate on that little boy,” he nodded down the hall. “He needs his mom. Anything else can wait. You don’t need the extra stress right now.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she thought a relationship would him but the least stressful part of her life, but she knew it wasn’t completely true. As heavenly as she was sure being with him would be, it would also bring complications. Balancing their relationship and work, disclosing and facing McCoy and Dodds would not be easy. Neither would be navigating a romantic relationship as a single parent. So instead, she moved her hands, so she could grasp his and squeezed them gently.

“Thank you,” she whispered, hoping that the affection in her eyes conveyed her true feelings on the matter. She wouldn’t forget it – how could she? It was something she would give serious consideration to, but she was grateful there was no pressure. No rush.

Rafael gave her his trademark half-smile. “Do you want me to get out of your way?” he asked gently, conscious that it had been Noah who had wanted to spend the day with him, not necessarily Olivia. “Leave you to your thoughts?”

She shook her head. “Actually, do you mind staying and watching some mindless TV show or something with me?” she asked, picking up her glass of wine. “I need to get out of my own head for a bit.”

“Sure,” he replied. “Whatever you need.” He grabbed his own drink before taking her hand and leading her to the sofa. “But I draw the line at ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’.

* * *

The next day, Rafael was just stepping into the church to meet his mother for Mass, when he felt his cell phone vibrate in the pocket of his trousers. He pulled out his phone and, seeing a text from Olivia, stepped to the side of the aisle, allowing other congregants to pass him. He opened the message and he couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face.

She’d sent him a photo of Noah’s finished homework. Noah’s picture sat at the top of the tree trunk, underneath the ones of the two of them Just how Noah had wanted it. In the large space in the middle of all the adults’ photos, he had painted a bright red heart and printed the words ‘My Family’ inside it. The message that accompanied the photo was short, but it packed a punch. A very good one.

_Noah won, but y’know,_  
 _I’m starting to kinda like it this way too._ L x

His heart soared as he read her words. She was saying, in her own way, that she felt something for him too, even if she wasn’t quite ready to take that leap just yet. A million sentimental responses rushed through his brain, but he didn’t want to come on too strong. He bit his bottom lip as he stood there contemplating his response.

_Knew you’d come round to the idea. ;-)_   
_There’s no pressure, though, remember?_   
_Tell Noah his homework looks great._   
_I’m sure his teacher will love it. R x_

His finger hovered over his phone for a moment as he re-read what he had typed, evaluating it. The message held his usual level of sass but was also light enough for there to be no expectations attached, he decided, finally pressing send.

He pocketed his phone and made his way down the aisle, bowing and making the sign of the cross as he reached his mother’s regular pew. He could feel her eyes on him; wondering why he was here. Unless it was a special occasion, he didn’t usually attend Mass voluntarily, but after a somewhat restless night replaying his conversation with Olivia, he felt pulled to attend. He would light a candle for Olivia and Noah and then try and catch Father Espinoza for a few moments after the service. The priest had experience counselling adopted children and, while Olivia wasn’t Catholic, Rafael thought that he may be able to offer some advice or perspective on her current fears. He slid in beside his mother and kissed her on the cheek, grateful that her questions were interrupted by the sound of the pipe organ. As the organ music swelled, Rafael sent up a quick prayer of thanks that his runaway mouth hadn’t cost him his friendship with Olivia and had possibly spurred them on towards something more.

Her message may not have been the outright declaration he was hoping for, but it was progress. It suggested she wasn’t opposed to the idea of possibly exploring a more intimate relationship with him somewhere down the line. Surprisingly, he didn’t mind the slow, careful progression. He preferred it actually. He didn’t want to tear apart everything they had. He’d made that mistake before, with Yelina. They’d rushed in, wild and passionate and when it ended – in the spectacular way that it had – he’d lost a friend.

He couldn’t lose Olivia the same way. But, even as that thought entered his mind, he knew it wasn’t the same. Their friendship was stronger than the one he’d had with Yelina; it was built on respect, trust and loyalty. Taking the next step would only strengthen their bond. He knew that, but if she needed a bit more time to work that out, then he could give it to her. He’d told her yesterday that they could wait, and he meant it. He’d wait for her because what the two them could have together – with Noah as well – was worth waiting for.


End file.
